International Day of the Girl: and day of this girl

LaLa is three today. I don’t normally do gushy happy birthday posts for my girls. Not because I don’t love them and gush over them, but because I save that particular celebration for home and for family. And maybe because I do love them so much that I find it hard to describe. And, well, also because I love them every day of the year and, as with Valentine, I don’t need a specific day to talk about that.

But… It so happens that, as well as being LaLa’s birthday, the 11 October is also International Day of the Girl. A day set up by the UN to “speak out against gender bias and advocate for girls’ rights everywhere”. So, I think, it rather behoves me to talk about why it is still so very important to keep doing this.

There’s a lot of information about issues that remain and do still need addressing on the International Day of the Girl site, including illiteracy, school dropout, forced marriage, violence and body image. There are issues in the poor countries and in the rich countries. There are issues in secular countries and religious ones (of all sorts). There are issues in schools and issues in families and issues in towns and cities and villages. In the rich west, we may think there’s nothing more to do, that we’ve won (and some even argue we may have gone too far and girls should be encouraged to look to home-making more than career-making). But we haven’t.

There is still significant (even increased) segregation of toys, and even learning materials. Girls are still called ‘tom boys’ if they’re loud and like to climb. Boys are still expected to be noisy and destructive, while girls are expected to be kind and quiet. Even life-long feminists can be heard claiming that Transformers are for boys because they’re ‘horrible and violent’ (yes, you know who you are). Parents and grandparents can be heard telling young girls not to do something because it’s ‘not ladylike’. Little girls can come home from pre-school or school saying that they’re not going to play with their cars, or their dinosaurs anymore because they’re ‘for boys’.

I will always, always, always speak up if I hear someone saying something like ‘That’s not for girls,’ or ‘Boys don’t do that’. There are basic biological differences, of course, there are. But beyond that, the world must be your oyster, whether you’re a girl or a boy. I want my girls, and every other girl in the world, to have all the opportunities open to boys. And I want all the boys in the world to have all the opportunities open to girls. I want girls to be leaders in science and mathematics, to be sporting heroes, and politicians and doctors and nurses, and teachers, and accountants, and engineers… And I want boys to be nurses and cooks and childcarers and ballet dancers and politicians and engineers and mountain climbers… I don’t want anyone to be held back from what they want to do, from what they are passionate about, by stereotypes or culture or tradition or religion. And, yes, if the girls happen to want to be home makers and the boys happen to want to be train drivers, all power to them. As long as they have the choice.

Our girls are quite fond of pink. They like to be fairies and princesses. They like baking and dancing and playing mums and dads. They also like playing pirates and dinosaurs, climbing trees and jumping out all over the place. They’re very partial to fart and burp jokes. They love building with Lego, playing with PlayDoh, beading and doing scientific experiments with whatever substance comes to hand. They like watching Peppa Pig, Tom and Jerry, Dora the Explorer, Strawberry Shortcake, Adventure Time and The Regular Show. They like reading about fairies and princesses and pirates and wizards and bunny rabbits and elephants and cars… They give great kisses and cuddles, but are also very happy to jump and climb all over you and, while they can whisper, they much prefer to shout at the top of their voices.

LaLa, who is three today, wanted a dinosaur for her birthday (and, so far, she’s already got a few). For her night-time nappies (which will probably be going very soon) the other day, she picked the blue ones over the pink and purple ones. Her favourite shoes are her black crocs. She loves playing with cars, dinosaurs, dragons and Lego. She also loves drawing and singing and playing mums and dads with her sister. She can do up the zip on her coat and most of her buttons, get the apple juice out of the fridge and pour herself a cup (though she’s really not supposed to). She loves riding on her scooter and climbing and jumping in the park. She loves swimming and riding on people’s shoulders. Her favourite things at playgroup are the pirate ship, the garage and the sandpit, though she also loves the home corner.

So, Happy Birthday, to my clever, talented, bright and beautiful girl and Happy International Day of the Girl to all the other girls in the world. May you always have all the opportunities you need and want. May you succeed wherever your interests and curiosity take you. May you find few boundaries and take down those you do find, so your daughters and sons can continue building an equal society, for everyone.