The Mercedes Benz Pelvic Floor

To the tune of Janis Joplin’s Mercedes Benz.

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a new pelvic floor?
I did all my exercises, I wish I’d done more
Worked hard on my clenches, though it was a chore,
So Lord, won’t you buy me a new pelvic floor?

Oh Lord, won’t you help me to hold in my pee?
I don’t want Tena Lady Pads, I’m not eighty-three.
Fifty-two times a day, I already wee.
So oh Lord, won’t you help me to hold in my pee?

Oh Lord, get this baby away from my blad.
I can’t take the kicks, Lord, I’ll go oh so mad.
Prove that you love me and don’t make me sad.
Oh Lord, get this baby away from my blad.

Everybody!
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a new pelvic floor?
I did all my exercises, but wish I’d done more
Worked hard on my clenches, though it was such a chore,
So Lord, won’t you buy me a new pelvic floor?

That’s it!