Stopping breastfeeding a two-year-old: the results

It’s been a month now since I stopped breastfeeding LaLa. And I thought I’d write an update on how it’s gone, for my benefit and for anyone who’s thinking about stopping themselves.

It has gone extraordinarily well, actually. For the first few days she did keep asking for dot dot. Sometimes she would lie down on the floor and cry when I said ‘No, remember, we’re not doing dot dot any more,’ but it would last only a short while. Often she’d accept milk or juice as an alternative. But after the first few days, she asked less and less and it came to a point where she’d ask as a joke. She’d come and sit down next to me with a big grin on her face and say ‘Can we have dot dot, now?’ and then she’d giggle. I’d go with the joke and laugh and say ‘No! We don’t do that any more.’ Now she may ask once or twice a week and she’s fine when I say no and remind her we don’t do that anymore.

How do I feel about stopping? For the most part, bloody brilliant, actually. Despite all my bravado and determination that extended breastfeeding is fantastic and a great thing to do (I still think that), I had got to the point where I was really rather fed up with it. I think if she’d been just down to one feed a day like RoRo was at this age, I’d have been less bothered. But she did ask a lot. And with both of them, toward the end, I grew very tired of the fact that the first thing they would do when they saw me was ask for dot dot (or mu-ilk), rather than give me a big cuddle, like they would their dad. It wasn’t that it was stopping me from doing anything – I had weekends away with no problem, drank my single glass of wine and occasional second one now and then – except perhaps taking anti-histamines, though I had got a chemist to find me some that would be OK by the end this time round. Just that I felt I was missing out on a whole other kind of relationship with her.

And I was right about that. The best thing about stopping has been the new cuddles I’m getting from LaLa. She gives me cuddles now, when before she would have gone for the boob. But I think she gives me more than that as well. She’ll just come up to me when we’re playing or watching TV or reading and give me a huge hug and say ‘I love you,’ How wonderful is that? And we have more time to do other things together now – like baking and playing Orchard Toys games and reading and doing her phonics (yes, I’ll write a post about that some time – I am not a crazy, pushy parent, really). I do seem to have a bit less time to read, though I am sneaking a bit in while she watches a few episodes of something on the BBC i-Player in the morning. But mostly, I am not missing it at all and actually feel closer to her than I did before.

Oh, and the boobs do seem to have shrunk a bit. Not sure yet how I feel about that one, though I suppose it might give me an excuse to spend a chunk of money on Bravissimo’s new spring collection, which is always fun (for me, not the bank balance). And, I am feeling my memory and brain power coming back a bit, which is most definitely a bonus.

Would I advise others to stop? Well, it depends what you want and how you feel about it yourself. I was resenting LaLa, rather than enjoying feeding her. I fed her for over two years, after a hideously difficult start, and am very proud to have done that. But if I’d still been happy to breastfeed, and had felt doing so made us closer, rather than further apart, I would have happily continued. If you have similar feelings of resentment and frustration, then why not give it a try. Don’t do it because someone else tells you should, though (including me!) – only you can really know. But if you do try, you may well find it quite easy.