Make-up and jewellery and young children

Rosemary is four years old. She’s already asking if she can have her ears pierced and to wear make-up. We’ve always said that she won’t get her ears pierced until she’s 16, but she can have clip-ons when she’s 5. And she can’t have lipstick until she’s at least 10. I let her have a bit of foundation and rouge when I’m putting my make-up on, but she’s not allowed lipstick. She’s also allowed to use face paints, and can, if she wants to, put face paints on in the style of make-up, though usually she’ll go more for the monster look.

And then she went for a sleepover at my mum’s and came back with lipstick. Sorry, it’s not lipstick it’s lipshine. Uh-huh. OK, so it’s more of a lip gloss, I suppose, and it’s not bright red or bright pink lipstick, but still. It’s lipstick with a different name isn’t it? It came with a magazine (Princess magazine, I think), inside a little fluffy purse (which she carried around like a comfort object for about a month). So, I had words with my mum, but a few weeks later, Rosemary came home with some more lipshine – this time, it came inside a plastic phone with different shades, and was from the same magazine. My mum apologised and said that Rosemary really, really wanted the magazine.

The magazine itself isn’t too bad. It has stories and activities, most of which are at the right level for Rosemary and she does always read through the whole magazine and do all the activities. Which may explain why I went and bought a copy of it the other day. Mine didn’t have lipstick in it. It had jewellery. A ring, a necklace, a bracelet… and, oh yes, clip-on earrings. Oops. (And, while still believing that four is surely too young for earrings, even clip-ons, I can’t help thinking she looks really good in them!)

We’re still trying to stick with the rules, but they seem to keep getting bent for one thing or another. It’s difficult when faced with Princess magazines, and with friends and relatives who have different rules. Quite a few of Rosemary’s friends have make-up, for example, and her Australian cousin had her ears pierced for her 5th birthday.

I wasn’t allowed my ears pierced until I was 16, though I think I may have talked my parents round to letting me get it done at 14. I then went and got my nose pierced at Glastonbury when I was 16. I wasn’t allowed make-up until I was a teenager though, like Rosemary, I used to get a shot at my mum’s rouge. When I lived in Spain as a child, I was an exotic novelty because I had un-pierced ears. Rosemary had friends at nursery school with pierced ears and I remember a couple of babies at breastfeeding group with pierced ears. So, obviously, everyone has different ideas about when it’s OK.

What do you think? When did you get yours ears pierced (if at all)? What about your daughters? And sons? Is make-up OK in young children? Is it any different from face paint? If you wear make-up yourself, how do you justify to your child that they can’t have any (if you do)?