A buddy system for parents?
As you probably know, Rosemary started school a few weeks ago. She seems to really enjoy it and even tells us some of the things she’s done on a given day, only rarely uttering the till now ubiquitous ‘Nothing!’ Though they are starting slowly and still mostly concentrating on letting the children play and observing them, Rosemary has still managed to be inspired to seek further knowledge by things she’s been told about or seen or heard at school.
One of the biggest learning curves, of course, is finding her place within the school. Going from being one of the big kids at nursery school and playgroup, to one of the little ones at ‘big school’ is an important step. Finding your way in the playground is a gargantuan task – one which I have to admit never really succeeding at.
But I didn’t have a buddy. Rosemary has a buddy, as do all her peers in Reception (I assume). Rosemary’s buddy is there to help her out at breaktimes – taking her to the loo if necessary, playing with her or helping her play, making sure she’s not lonely or scared. Rosemary adores her buddy. They greet each other at the start of the day with a great big cuddle and run off together to play, leaving me and Eleanor staring after her, trying to catch a glimpse of her bright purple coat as she leaps and dashes across the tarmac. And her buddy, and other older children, have been teaching Rosemary (and her friends) playground games. Clapping games, different kinds of chase, the age-old mums, dads and babies, and probably many more that we are not privy to.
This is a wonderful system (though, admittedly, the pairing doesn’t always work out as perfectly as Rosemary and her buddy, as one of her friends has found) and a brilliant idea. I have no idea if this is widespread or unique to our local school. If it’s not widespread, it really should be, as providing ways and means for the children of different ages to mix in a school is really useful. I imagine it will help cut down on bullying. And, really, how wonderful to have someone to show you the ropes – the ones that your teachers and parents really can’t help with. The ins and outs of getting on within this very special ecosystem that is a primary school. I am truly envious and really wish I had had something similar.
But, you know what? I also wish there was something similar available for me now. Why don’t they have a buddy system for the new parents? The ones who don’t have children at the school already? The ones who don’t know that the bottle they send their children to school with should only contain water and have to wait for their child to tell them? The ones who don’t know where to go to drop the children off and have to ask someone on the first day, or just follow the crowds and hope they’re heading in the right direction. The ones who don’t know how many bags to send with their child or whether it’s OK or not for them to bring a toy to show people or some books to look at or that they’re supposed to keep the PE kit in school. The ones who have no idea about the playground or school-gate etiquette. The ones who have no bloody idea how a child gets to be a Golden Child of the Week or receive a special certificate from the headmaster and why seemingly every other child in Reception seems to have had one already except theirs. It’s all new to us, too.
So, if you’re on the PTA for your school or are a teacher or a head, why not suggest it? A buddy system for the new children, if there isn’t already one in place, but also a buddy system for the new parents.
Do you have buddy systems? Have you ever heard of one for the parents? Did you (or do you still) have any issues with working out your own place within the school ecosystem? Do you drop your children off and run or hang around and chat?
(If you do have problems chatting with other parents, you might want to take a look at How do I make a date with a mum? which I wrote almost two years ago – and especially read all the comments to see what a common problem it is. You’ll hopefully be pleased to know that I do have some mum friends now, and have been known to send them texts and even share cake. But I’d still quite like a buddy, please.)
Photo (Rosemary swinging on the railings in the park after school) taken with the Kodak EasyShare M580 Digital Camera, kindly provided by Kodak.
UPDATE: This is now being tried out at our school for new parents this September (2011). If you’ve tried it out anywhere, would love to hear how it’s going.
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